Missing Moments
by Blue Shadowdancer
Summary: Anything can happen in Pegasus, and not everything that should be is seen. 100 Missing character moments/episode tags of 100 words each for the LJ challenge. Focus on the whole team. Chapter 16 now up - The Brotherhood.
1. Hours

_This is my take on the FF100 challenge from LiveJournal - 100 missing moments/tags, each of 100 words, to each of the 100 episodes, focusing on different characters. I've also decided to put quotes at the top of each, for some reason. I'm aiming to post one a day, if things work out. Please tell me what you think, reviews fuel writing! :)_**  
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RISING I - _HOURS_  
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_Confusion never stops;  
Closing walls and ticking clocks…_

_~ Coldplay, 'Clocks'  
_

"Rodney, calm down."

Frenetic pacing checked, and an accusing glare seared her way. "They've been gone hours. _Hours_! You do realise what I _meant_ when I said that power failure is imminent, don't you?"

"Are you always like this?" Peter questioned.

Agitated eyes drilled into him. "What, do I always worry when _facing death_? The answer is yes, thank you!"

"And there's nothing you can do?" Elizabeth asked, forcibly calm.

Shrug. "Well, I've rerouted several systems, buying us maybe an extra hour or so, but that's all."

"_Already_?"

"What? It wasn't hard." A hand dismissed astonished stares. "Where _are_ they?"


	2. Beginnings

_Thanks for the reviews so far! I'm glad that people are enjoying the start! Please do continue letting me know what you think, I love receiving them :)_

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**RISING II - _BEGINNINGS_**

_In a minute there is time  
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse..._

_~T. S. Eliot, 'Prufrock'  
_

Survivors.

Not a grouping he'd included himself in before. Not even after dry endless deserts in Afghanistan, where blue sky spat bullets and shifting sands hid death. That had been a job, completed, nothing else.

_This_ was more. Already, it was more.

Laughter filled the air, uniforms and Athosian clothing mixing and blending together.

Friends.

And soon, teammates…

Brown eyes glided to Teyla, strong, courageous. To Ford, young, eager. Some decisions didn't need sleeping on.

Oddly, he found himself glancing to McKay, arguing vehemently with a caterer, sounds lost to distance. A sudden thought drew an involuntary grin.

_Not him._


	3. Green

_Thanks very much for the reviews, alerts and favorites so far! Please do continue, they are my writing fuel! :D_

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_**HIDE AND SEEK - _GREEN_**

_We won't break; we won't die;  
It's just a moment of change…_

_~ OneRepublic, 'All We Are'  
_

McKay seemed unsure, uncertain, as if he couldn't quite believe what he had done. Movements slow and tentative, still at the centre of commotion.

_They _almost couldn't believe it. Of him.

The dull-green depleted shield filled Elizabeth's hand, clutched tight like a talisman as she looked to the others, sharing an unspoken thought; that they had just passed a test, earned their right to Atlantis's legacy.

Somewhere above a candle flame danced, pale and ghostly in the light.

And there was a thoughtful smile on John's face, and he looked at McKay as if seeing him for the first time.


	4. Red

_Thank you very much to everyone still reviewing! Seems the last chapter wasn't too popular, hopefully this one may make up for it? Please do leave your thoughts, good or bad! :)_

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**THIRTY-EIGHT MINUTES - _RED_**

_Somewhere far beneath  
Your pointed tongue and teeth  
__Is where you really are…_

_~Aqualung, 'Pressure Suit'  
_

He remained locked in place after Sheppard had been rushed away, sight obscured by memories of redness. The slick, slippery curve of Sheppard's neck, bright with blood as he yelled in pain, that sickening black insect squirming at his jugular.

_I wasn't prepared for this._

Universes distant now from theory and statistics, nightmare visions forming of teammates broken, gutted, bleeding out across the floor…

_We're too fragile._

"Rodney?"

He slowly comprehended Zelenka's concerned voice. Questioning.

"Yes. Ok. We need to fix – "

"Are you alright?"

"Me?" He laughed brusquely. "I'm fine. _I'm_ not the one whose heart stopped."

_Not Yet_.


	5. Independence

_Thanks so much for all the reivews, you guys are awesome! :D I'm trying a slightly different style with this one, please do continue to let me know what you think of these!_

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**SUSPICION - _INDEPENDENCE_**

_And they say the future's out to get you –  
You know that I won't let you fall…_

_~ The Hoosiers, 'Worried About Ray'  
_

Thrust. Parry.

Feet place automatically, focused on the duel.

Thrust.

She fights alone. Always alone, now.

Parry.

She watched her people leave, marked apart in her foreign uniform. And they can't help her anymore.

Parry.

Eyes closed, she battles the Wraith. Its mouth sneering, feeding hand outstretched.

Thrust.

Parry.

An explosion still rings in her ears, and her hair coronas around her head as she spins.

Strike. Hard.

Her opponent tumbles.

Hold.

"Impressive," Sheppard grins from the floor, panting.

She smiles, pulls him up, remembering the Wraith fought earlier. Herself defeated. And then saved.

Helped.

She's independent now. Not alone.


	6. Lunch

_Thank you again for the great reviews - I'm really glad that people are enjoying this project! This chapter's a bit lighter, hope it's ok. As always, please do let me know either way!_

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**CHILDHOOD'S END - _LUNCH_**

_Some say we're never meant to grow up –  
I'm sure they never knew enough._

_~ Sum 41, 'Some Say'  
_

"You gave away our lunch!"

"I believe our lunch is still here," Teyla said calmly. "Major Sheppard merely gave away several bars of chocolate."

"Yes, _merely_," Rodney muttered darkly.

John, piloting the Jumper, studiously stayed silent.

"The kids liked them, though," Ford grinned.

Rodney scowled.

"Did you see the box I emptied to give to them?" John asked suddenly. "Last of that type on Atlantis?"

"I didn't have a chance, because you _emptied_ it."

"The bars contained chunks of citrus peel."

Rodney's eyes widened sharply. "What?! I could have _eaten_ one!"

John smiled triumphantly. "You can't now. They're all gone."


	7. Words

_My posting each day seems to have broken slightly - hope you don't mind too much? And thank you, as always, for the great reviews! Please do continue!_

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**POISONING THE WELL - _WORDS_**

_I will follow that method of treatment which, according to my ability and judgement, I consider for the benefit of the patient, and abstain from whatever is harmful…  
~ The Hippocratic oath_

Life ebbs beneath your hands.

"Perna," you half-beg, but there's no hope, none at all, and she knows it better than you. Knew before she took the drug, even.

"Carson," she whispers, and smiles slightly, and it's the smile which breaks your heart, shatters it like glass, because you're supposed to _prevent_ death, not cause it. Even if people choose their own fate.

"Perna."

Her lips taste of antiseptic, and her skin is already cold. Salt tears on both your cheeks.

Primum non nocere._ More than words, Perna._

You hold her as she struggles to

breathe

just  
one  
more  
time…


	8. Summer

_Thank you very much for all previous reviews! This one is an outsider's look..._

_Please check out **Turn**, if you have time! :)_

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**UNDERGROUND - _SUMMER_**

_A dark shape on a golden floor;  
A sleeping planet with a molten core…_

_~ Snow Patrol, 'The Golden Floor'  
_

The blazing sun mocked her, but Sora didn't shield her eyes from its painful glare.

That would be weakness. And she _wouldn't_ show weakness in front of these people, in front of the woman who left her father to _die_.

"That is not what happened," Teyla said, but Sora trusted Cowen's dissention. She'd known him longer.

She watched them leave in their crafts, burned their faces into her mind. Her weapon shook slightly in her hands, sun glinting from the polished barrel.

She stared upwards, after them. Teyla had been her _friend_. Once.

No longer.

_Betrayer. I will destroy you._


	9. Days

_Thank you once again for all review, alerts and favourites so far! Please do continue to leave more! :) Thought I'd stray back slightly into Rodney-whumping with this chapter, it's something that struck me when I was watching the episode. They could have been on that planet for quite a while, and that couldn't have been good for him..._

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**HOME - _DAYS_**

_Now, I know that everything's alright,  
If we stay between the glow, and the light…_

_~ Jump, Little Children, 'Dim and the Dark'  
_

Grey mist shrouded the landscape, but the uncanny, disembodied Hammond-voice had ceased.

Rodney frowned. He had work to do.

Which would be much easier if his hands weren't shaking. And the mist made everything fuzzy.

"Want to hurry it up?" Sheppard asked. Very casually.

Difficult getting the crystal out; it kept unfocusing. And no one warned him the ground would start swaying when he stood.

"…eat?"

He blinked.

John and Ford suddenly had their arms around him, helping him to the gate.

Ah. Yes. Undefined time without food. Not recommended for hypoglycaemia.

"Almost home, buddy."

"'S good."

A smile. "_Very_."


	10. Rain

_Just returned from exam-stress hiatus, and hoping that people are still interested in reading these! I'm intending to get back into my habit of one-a-day posting now :) Please do review! And thank you very much to everyone who has so far :)_

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_**THE STORM - _RAIN_**

_Oh, my star is fading,  
And I see no chance of release;  
And I know I'm dead on the surface,  
But I am screaming underneath._

_~ Coldplay, 'Amsterdam'  
_

Her life measured in seconds. Breaths. Heartbeats.

She can't look away. Not from Kolya, not from the gun.

_Murderer! Torturer!_ she screams within her head.

Rodney gasps, from pain, or fear, and fury pulls these final heartbeats from her faster.

His terrified face, his blood in the corner of her eyes.

Rain drums against the glass, in rhythm with her pulse.

Sheppard yells over the radio, and she wants to shout too.

She thinks, _John. Rodney. Atlantis_. Thinks, _please someone save me._

Kolya's finger tightens on the trigger.

Steadfast, she breathes. In.

And thinks she feels the silent city scream.


	11. Broken

_Thank you so much for all the reviews, I'm very happy to know that you guys are still enjoying this! Please do keep them coming, and I'd love it if you had the time to check out 'This Is Not The Sound' too :)  
I found out this morning that I passed my exams, so to celebrate I'm being cruel to Rodney. It's what I do ;)_

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**THE EYE - _BROKEN_**

_Is there anybody out there who  
Is lost, and hurt, and lonely too?_

_~ Coldplay, 'Square One'  
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He hid it well.

Held himself painfully taut with fakely cheerful words and a hastily-applied bandage.

Until his door slid shut. And he slid to the floor as clockwork ran down, puppet-strings snapped, the all-consuming focus on staying together splintered apart; and left him with nothing. Except his accusing thoughts.

His arm burned and he pulled away bandage, jacket, hissing as new-formed scab over the deep knife wounds were ripped away with them, bright red blood welling up and over his pale skin, an outward badge of inward shame at having broken so easily, so quickly.

At failing, so completely.


	12. Fire

_This series returns! I found this episode very hard to tag - this is something like the 10th version, all with different things in them! Which may explain the delay somewhat. Anyway, I hope you like what it finally turned into! (A note - I've seen many different spellings of Gaul's name, so I went with 's one.)  
_

_Everyone that has reviewed so far, you make my day! :D_

_Also, here's a shameless plug for my current multi-chapter story 'The Long Star Mile' ;-)  
_

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**THE DEFIANT ONE - FIRE**

_The sun is like the truth; it'll burn a mortal man  
If he tries to look upon it; if he tries to understand  
He might learn that we are only for a while._

_~ The Low Anthem, 'Yellowed by the Sun'_

Rodney's voice shook, as did his hands, raised slightly, gripped around a phantom pistol. "You told me to give him a gun."

"I know."

"He… he just…fired…"

"I know." Overwhelmingly, he wanted to lie down and sleep and forget about everything. But he couldn't, yet; this had to be discussed before the Jumper arrived with the nearly-too-late backup who weren't part of this ugly mess. "McKay, I'd be dead otherwise."

"Gaul's dead _now_."

_Scientists shouldn't die for soldiers,_ he thought. "You know he wouldn't have survived. He… it was his choice."

"That doesn't make it better."

"No. No, it doesn't."


	13. When?

_Thank you to everyone following this story!_ _I hope you contine to like it :)_

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**HOT ZONE - _WHEN?_**

_Looked into your eyes  
And saw what lay beneath;  
Don't try to save yourself –  
The circle is complete._

_~ Pendulum, 'Hold Your Colour'_****

Radek caught the movement in the corner of his eye.

Rodney ducked, flinched. Then he straightened, and glanced around, cautiously.

Radek had seen. He knew what it meant. That pattern. Just like the others.

Infection.

Rodney's time was ticking down. Unstoppably.

Radek could go and try to comfort him, but he knew the man well enough by now. He would hate that.

Or he could tell Beckett. Then Rodney would be monitored. But there was nothing anyone could do.

Hours made of minutes, made of seconds. How many were left?

He didn't know. He couldn't ask.

He could only watch.


	14. She

_Thank you very much, as always, for the lovely reviews! With your encouragement, I may even finish this challenge eventually :P_

_I never can make up my mind whether I like Chaya or not, but I do find the ending sad...  
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**SANCTUARY - _SHE_**

_You're gone from here,  
And soon you will disappear,  
Floating into beautiful light…_

_~ Keane, 'Everybody's Changing'_

"Will I see you again?"

Her eyes gave him his answer.

"If there's ever anything you need… anything we can ever do for you…"

"John."

Even in their farewell, he loved how she pronounced his name.

"You understand…"

A gulf widened between them. Soon it would stretch across the unimaginably vast distance of the blackness between their stars, but even though for now it was still only the distance of a step, he couldn't cross it.

"Yes," he said, and the word pressed heavily on his tongue.

"I'll remember you all my life."

"And how long will you live?"

"Forever."


	15. Water

_As always, thank you very much for the reviews, alerts and favourites! They're lovely :D_

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**BEFORE I SLEEP - _WATER_**

_Screaming out from the crests of waves;  
You're longing to be saved…_

_~ Coldplay, 'Crests of Waves'_

He dreamed of the sea. The blue-green water bursting inwards through the coloured windows, waves swirling around the Gate and rising, swallowing the letters on the steps.

And swallowing him. Rising unstoppably, icy arms of water grasping him as he fought them, fought to open the bulkheads, fought to have John and Elizabeth survive…

And then he woke, gasping for breath, drowning in air, struggling in a weed-tangle of bedclothes.

_It wasn't you._

Another him; someone who didn't break. Who had saved Elizabeth, and saved the city.

_Could you do that?_

He didn't know.

And he couldn't fall asleep again.


	16. Triangle

_Yeah, my 'regular posting schedule' once again failed. But I am determined to finish this project! _

_As always, huge thanks for the reviews! Please, please do send more, not least because I can then distract myself from the work I'm supposed to be doing in order to reply to them! ;)_

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**THE BROTHERHOOD ****- _TRIANGLE_**

_Arm yourself, because no one else here will save you  
The odds will betray you._

_~ Chris Cornell, 'You Know My Name'  
_

There is a moment, with the cold triangles of metal pressed against his sweat-slick palms, when he doesn't think, just feels complete and absolute euphoria.

At that moment, high over Atlantis, a Jumper explodes in a fireball, and Markham and Smith blink out of existence; flame, sparks, ash, gone.

At that moment, three hives wing through hyperspace, and across a scanner screen.

At that moment, Teyla's foot trembles on the handle of a grenade.

And at that moment, just that one, John Sheppard knows he is still alive, and, now, that's everything.

Then that moment passes.

And the rest start.


End file.
